Ever felt a strong urge to fight or flee? You know what I’m talking about. Someone does or says something that triggers you. Your heart rate speeds up and your breath gets shallow. I feel it through a tightening across my chest. You may feel it somewhere else, but you feel it. It is how…
What if your problems were really opportunities for growth? What if, rather than being damaging sources of angst, frustration, disconnection, and fear, your “problems” were actually opportunities to expand your capacity for awesome things like wisdom, creativity, patience, and connecting? The truth is, with a new perspective all of our problems can transform into meaningful…
A new client asked me a terrific question during lunch last week: “How do you win over someone who is resistant to you?” To which I replied: “I don’t know, have I started winning you over yet?” We laughed, but my responsive question was intended to be thought provoking. You see, a short time earlier,…
The other day I was talking with a leader I admire about the importance of authenticity in leadership. We were discussing a particular issue within her organization and she said “I feel like I never hear anything authentic from him. There isn’t much I can do (for him) if he doesn’t get real.” Simultaneously, I…
This week I have an oh-so-critical message for you: You are not a victim. If you truly want to be more successful with (fill in blank) it is time for you to start owning your results. If you don’t like them, or would like to improve on them, you must make changes with regard to…
Have you ever gotten sucked into someone else’s nasty mood? I narrowly escaped catching a bad attitude last week. I was sitting in the waiting room at my doctor’s office, and a woman at the counter was fussing at the receptionist because they called her the day before and left her a message, but she…
Gratitude: A feeling of appreciation or thanks. (Source: Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary) As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday, and kick-off the “holiday season”, I want to share one of the easiest ways to keep your peace through all the preparation, hustle and bustle, and time with friends and family: Practice gratitude. Studies have proven the feeling…
We all have triggers. today i have a surprising concept for why we can be easily triggered by the behavior of others. Let’s start with what I mean by “triggered”: Agitation, frustration, and anger are a few of the negative feelings associated with being triggered. They bubble up (or explode) when we bump into specific…
I nearly had a full-on temper tantrum the other night. For real, I thought I was going to explode all over everyone, and it was all because of some seriously unmet expectations. It was the fifth evening of a fabulous vacation: Beautiful resort, perfect weather, and lots of exciting fun combined with plenty of “chill”…
Ever feel like you are stuck in a frustrating and unproductive communication spiral? One where you, and the other involved, keep saying the same things but nothing is getting resolved? At times like this, you probably feel like you’ve tried everything humanly possible to get the other person to understand you, but it simply isn’t…
Ever notice how complicated and convoluted communication gets when you are in the midst of a highly emotional “discussion”? You think you are making great points, but the other person is not picking up what you are putting down. How about all those discussions you re-play in your head over and over, but with loads…
As a young, highly motivated, corporate-ladder-climber, I had an urgent desire to establish my credibility as a great manager. As such, I set out to demonstrate my understanding of complex issues, implementing solutions, and getting results. These were reasonable goals for developing leader, but for me that meant I always had to be right. I…