Have you ever known a leader who, with “vulnerable” self-awareness, acknowledges things about themselves that are not ideal, but never tries to improve them?
I have. Working for that leader was frustrating, to say the least. It also made me wonder what was wrong with his superiors. Why was everyone OK with these behaviors? As I watched the collateral damage continue to be ignored, I started disengaging and losing confidence in my leader, and his too.
Occasionally, I’ll have a client who knows him or herself quite well – even understands the root of their behaviors – but has no interest in doing better. They say things like “this is just who I am” and expect everyone else to roll with (ignore) their problematic characteristics. Interestingly, they usually also rate themselves high in emotional intelligence, largely because they are “so self-aware.” Unfortunately, they are missing the key element of self-awareness: Shifting behaviors because of the awareness.
Did you know? Higher level leaders are less likely to have accurate self-awareness when compared to their lower-level counterparts. Ouch.
In this study of over 3,600 participants, higher level leaders consistently overvalued their skills in areas like empathy, trustworthiness, and leadership performance.
Why is that? Good question!
Here’s one reason: Higher-level leaders fall prey to believing their historical success is evidence they have overcome their weaknesses. Conversely, lower-level leaders are still striving to improve on their challenge areas, in hopes of advancing their careers.
This misplaced confidence can be a leader’s undoing. Relying on past successes as proof of mastery creates blind spots that can stunt them and erode their credibility. You see, mastering self-awareness isn’t just about knowing yourself. It’s about taking self-aware action in response to your knowledge.
Without correlated action, self-awareness is little more than a vanity project, offering no value to you or anyone around you.
Moving from Self-Awareness to Self-Aware Action
If you suspect you may have ignored the action that makes self-awareness beneficial, here are some tips for moving into self-aware action:
- Reflect on Situational Triggers
Identify moments when you know your challenging characteristics coming into play. Identify the triggers and consider, “How can I handle this better next time?” I promise, there will be a next time!
- Set Bite-Sized Goals
Don’t go for a massive overhaul. Focus on do-able, specific shifts that will support real change.
- Want to stop interrupting people in meetings? Set a goal to count to five before interjecting your thoughts.
- Want to break a micromanaging habit? Start by delegating one task this week, then resist the urge to “check in” before the agreed upon time.
Simple, actionable plans create momentous changes.
- Seek Feedback
You’re too close to yourself to see everything clearly and objectively. Ask for feedback from your team members, peers, and mentors. They’ll help you uncover blind spots. As you do, remember, seeking feedback isn’t about validating what you already believe. It’s about understanding how others experience you and using their input to find more effective situational responses and behaviors.
Caution! Feedback is a tool, not an attack. Be prepared to accept it when given.
- Reap the Rewards
Leaders who move from self-awareness to self-aware action don’t just improve themselves—they improve everything around them. Their decisions are sharper, they inspire their teams, and they model a growth-focused culture. When you turn self-awareness into self-aware action you demonstrate adaptability, as you go from a leader who talks about a need for change to a leader who makes change happen.
Wrap It Up
Self-awareness is not the finish line. It’s the starting point. Knowing what your challenge areas are doesn’t make you a better leader—or human. It makes you the same leader, choosing not to be accountable for your behavior.
That’s right. Self-awareness without correlated action is like living in Einstein’s definition of insanity: Doing the same things and expecting a different result.
As we close, I encourage you not to fall prey to the same unfounded beliefs countless others have fallen into – you’re so much better than that! Be vulnerable, yes. Be honest, of course. You won’t have effective working relationships without both. But when a characteristic shows up you know you can do better with, don’t just acknowledge it. Please, do something about it.
Go on now! Get out there and be REMARKABLE. We’re rooting for you!
Reach out to learn more about how you can shift your awareness into action, and achieve remarkable results!
